Appearing once more on British television, the fabulously dynamic Miss Piggy returned for an interview on Loose Women, and what a come back! Appearing in a ruby-red jacket with faux-fur collar and red-gloves, Miss Piggy stole the show as the 'ladies' asked her advice on a variety of issues.
Miss Piggy made the easy decision to call all the presenters Ginger to save herself the difficulty of remembering their names...allow us to do the same.
Ginger 1: "Miss Piggy!"
Piggy: "Kissy Kisssy! Oh thank you, thank you."
Ginger 1: "Obviously you are the biggest celebrity we have ever had on this show."
Piggy: "Obviously."
Ginger 2: "Goes without saying."
Piggy: "Goes without saying. I must say, this is my first time meeting all of you and, um, I'm just...I'm just not going to get your names straight, ok? I'm apologising up front
I've decided to call you all Ginger. Ok? I hope you're ok with that."
Ginger 1: "Listen, on the Muppet show you had amazing celebrities."
Piggy: *interrupting* "Yes, Ginger?"
Ginger 2: "Do you have a favorite?"
Piggy: "Oh, we did, we did. Oh, we had so many. John Cleese and Julie Andrews and Elton John, oh, Rudolf Nerov...yes."
Ginger 3: "The ballet dancer?"
Piggy: "What a DREAMBOAT he was. Oh yeah. We shared a scene. In a sauna. And boy was it HOT. Oh, let me tell YOU."
Ginger 1: "Listen, just tell us, how've you managed to stay at the top of your game for so long?"
Piggy: "Ooh, well, you know...I don't...I think my secret really lies is to work with genius."
Ginger 4: "Oh, like now?"
Piggy: "Don't let that get to your head. No, I'm talking about KERMIT! Kermit! Kermit is truly a genius, after all, he discovered moi. Ahh-heh-heh-ha!"
Ginger 1: "Oh, yeah, now speaking of kermit, you've been together for many years now. is there any sign of a wedding?"
Piggy: "A really BIG sign, actually. Right outside his window. it says "Marry me NOW."-or else."
Ginger 1: "Well, Miss piggy I'm...I don't know how to say--"
Piggy: "How'd you do it?"
Ginger 2: "Exactly that way, actually. Marry me or else."
Piggy: "Oh, will it work for moi?"
Ginger 2: "It will."
Ginger 1: "Well, you see, the thing is I don't know how to break this to you, because I have a little bitsy confession to make regarding your beloved Kermit."
Piggy: "You mean?"
Ginger 1: "Take a look at this."
Cut to a few years past, where Ginger 1 is interviewing Kermit outside of Muppet Vision 3D.
Ginger1: "You're going to the premier tonight?"
Kermit: "I am."
Ginger1: "And...is Miss Piggy going with you?"
Kermit: "Well...er...*looking around...snuggles closer, touches her arm* No. She's not. *clears throat*"
Ginger 1: "Do you...do you have, have a date?"
Kermit: *whistles to self* Not really. I er...have a spare ticket."
Ginger 1: "Well, I'm...available."
Kermit: "You are?"
Ginger 1: "For...tonight."
Kermit: "For the...er...for the...*distracted by rubbing her arm* I love your jacket. Is that made of...Pig leather?"
Ginger 1: "Yes."
Kermit: *tries not to laugh*
Cut to a little later when Kermit and Ginger 1 share a brief kiss.
CUT BACK TO PIGGY
Piggy: "WHAT? What...um...which Ginger was that???"
Ginger 1: "It meant nothing."
Ginger 2: "This Ginger."
Piggy: "That was you??? That was YOU? Yeah, they've changed your hair. That's a good idea."
Ginger 1: "What do you-yeah, listen, I have to ask your advice about the hair. You're a woman with beautiful long blonde locks."
Piggy: "Yes."
Ginger 1: "It's your, sort of, your signature look isn't it."
Piggy: "Yes it is. *flips hair*"
Ginger 1: "As a woman myself with long blonde hair do you think there's a certain cut off point, you know,when you go over the forty mark, is it still ok to have long blonde hair?"
Piggy: "Forty? Ahheheh. Dear, I'm in my early twenties. I have no idea about over forty but um...since you asked, let me look at you. I think its perfect."
Ginger 2: "Aww..."
Piggy: "I have that same style sitting on a table in my dressing room. It's very nice but STAY AWAY FROM MY FROG!"
Ginger 1: *hands up* Just good friends!"
Ginger 3:"Can I just butt in with my dilemma before there's a little...punch up...um..."
Piggy: "Yes Ginger?"
Ginger 3: "I'm thinking of going into stand up comedy. Now can you give me some advice on putting down the hecklers? What's a killer line to put down any hecklers?"
Piggy: "Hecklers...hecklers...You know, um, I'm not really a stand up. I'm more in the tradition of *not sure* No. But, um, I'd say give them a good karate chop!"
Ginger 3: "Okay."
Piggy: "I'd say that'll shut em up."
Ginger 3: "Thank you very much."
Piggy: "I try."
Ginger 4: "Look, you need to help me as well because, um, I like a pint. I like to go down the pub with my blokey mates."
Piggy: "*looking her up and down disdainfully* You're kidding."
Ginger 4: "Do you think...do you honestly think I should be a bit more ladylike?"
Piggy: "No...I think you're perfect JUST the way you are. Yes, yes, you're my kind of woman."
Ginger 3: "Awww..."
Piggy: "But, if you wanna get asked out...by men..."
Ginger 4: "Well, I kind of do."
Piggy: "Yeah, you might want to at least pretend to be a little more ladylike."
Ginger 4: *abashed*/*making faces at Piggy when her back is turned*
Piggy: "Listen, I know its lying! I know it's a little bit like lying but, they're men. It's ok."
Ginger 4: "Ok, I'll try."
Ginger 1: "Listen, Miss Piggy, thank you so much for taking time out of your...global schedule to come and spend some time with us I know that the DVD is out, right?
Piggy: "Yes, yeah. Season 2, or series two...that sprits it up."
Ginger 1: "Are we going to have another series of the Muppets? Or are you too busy with the other aspects of your career and your love life to bother with that now?"
Piggy: "Well, well, my love life is very busy. But...no...um, maybe. Maybe someday. Something, sometime soon. You know, it's all top secret right now. Hush hush."
Ginger 1: "Thank you SO much, Miss Piggy everybody!"
Piggy: "Thank yoou!"
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